Word Strumpet

Updated Ghostwriting Page

I've been doing so much of it and writing about it, so I've updated my Ghostwriting page and turned it into a FAQ.  Check it out here, and spread the word if you know anybody who needs a ghostwriter.

Wish I Had This Ghostwriting Gig

In my travels through the world of blogs about celebrities, one of the rags I've come to know and love is The Daily Mail out of the UK.  Don't ask me why I adore this rag, when clearly one cannot believe a word they print.  Perhaps it is for the bizarre photos they print (Amy Winehouse wandering the streets at 3 AM are always favs) or the strange English celebrities they follow (Peaches Geldorf) or the stupid photo-essays (today they featured one on the trash that Brangelina left behind after giving birth to twins).

Time and time again I get dragged onto this site by enticing headlines and today was no different.  How could I resist this lure:  Katie Price Reveals: I Don't Write My Best-Selling Novels! 

Now, I have no idea who Katie Price is.  Apparently she also goes by the name Jordan.  What she is famous for eludes me. Oh wait, the article says she was once a lad's mag favorite.  Don't know precisely what that is, but I can guess.  At any rate, she has apparently "written" three novels, the first of which, called Angel, sold more than 300,000 copies in the first two weeks it was out.

And now comes the shocking news that she didn't write these stellar tomes.  As the Daily Mail notes, "But just when it seemed there was no end to the model's extraordinary talents, she has admitted enlisting more than a little help."   Ms. Price, or Jordan, or Katie, or whatever you want to call her, says she simply doesn't have time to write these books that have her name on them.

That's a ghostwriting job I'd like to have--and I'm hoping that whoever the ghostwriter is, he or she got a healthy paycheck to begin with and an either healthier bonus when the novels hit the bestseller list.

A Day in the Life

6:30.  Rise, stumble to the coffeepot, take coffee with me to the journal, sit and write for an hour.  Best part of the day.

7:30.  Check email; try not to get too engrossed in letters from friends or the latest celebrity gossip news.

8:00.  Walk with my friend Sharon.  We've been walking together, three times a week for over 20 years.  Damn, even I'm impressed by that.

9:00.  Eat breakfast, laboriously work on the Sudoku puzzle, pat myself on the back for being brilliantly close to solving it and then realize I've screwed up.

9:30.  Back to work.  I know, total grossness--no shower.  Lately I'm lucky if I get in the shower by noon.  Such is the life of a writer.   Spend the next couple hours working on marketing, which always takes tons of time and is a pain in the you-know-what.

12:00.  Sneak in a little more work on my new project, which mostly exists in the journal and is way too raw to talk about.  Suffice it to say I'm excited.  There's a shower in here somewhere, too.

12:30.  Lunch.  Oh yeah, that. 

1:00-ish.  Realize I've missed a call from a client, call her back and we talk about a ghostwriting project for quite awhile.  I've just finished one book for them and we're in the process of shaping the next one.

2:00. Return a call from a new client.  She's got a book she wants me to write.  I like the sound of it.  We'll see what happens but I hope we move forward.

2:30.  Panic.  Two big jobs and another couple I've got to follow up on.  When will I have time to work on my own things? 

2:45.  Breathe deeply; feel better.

3:00.  Work on a  critique for students who live in Las Vegas.  I love these two--they are a husband and wife who write children's books together.

4:00.  Email critique off, head out to bank, PO and Fred Meyer for food.  Buy shrimp for dinner and a whole salmon on sale at the unheard of price of $2.49 per pound,  plus a cedar plank to cook it on.

5:00.  Read a little of a manuscript, swear I'm not going to have a glass of wine so that I can stay sharp and work tonight.

6:30.  Pour myself a glass of wine and take it and manuscript and journal outside.  Talk to Lewis instead of doing any work.

7:00.  Realize I never called Candace back and call her while I fix dinner.  Steve is going to be home late, working on a project for the Abu Dhabi folks, anyway.  He's going back there in two weeks and I'm heading to LA around the same time to meet all those new clients.

8:00.  Release delusion that I'll get more done tonight and go fart around on the internet.  Burning question: how does Twitter make money?  Answer:  A. they don't, yet, because they don't have to, and B. they don't know how they are going to, when they finally do have to.  Not sure why this fascinates me so.

9:45.  Panic, redux: realize I've not written a blog post in several days.  Sit down and have at it.

10:00.  Time to crawl into bed with the wonderful book I'm reading, The Tenth Gift.  Its about pirates.  Did you realize that millions of Europeans were stolen by pirates and sold into slavery?

Check Out This Author Interview

I just posted the first interview on my companion site, Bookstrumpet, by the wonderful Lori Eads.  It is with the author Sonia Singh, and it is worth checking out because she makes some interesting comments about writing, the writing process, and, specifically, her writing process. 

She talks about how when first she starts writing, she writes everything in a journal, so as to subvert the Inner Critic.  That way, she can convince herself and her critic that she's not really writing a novel--she's just fooling around in her journal.

She's got three published novels to her credit, so apparently this approach works well!

Go check it out, I enjoyed it immensely.

Ah, But Here's the Rub

A couple months ago I wrote a post titled Write Three Pages a Day and You'll Be Happy.

This command, and the post I wrote about it, are all true.  I believe this statement with all my heart, because I believe that as writers, we must write regularly to be happy.

However....

Upon rare occasion, there may come a day, when you realize, as youmdutifully write your three pages a day on a daily basis, that you are lost and meandering.  In a dark wood, wandering, so to speak.  Unsure where those three pages a day are taking you, if anywhere.

Not that this has ever happened to me, mind you.  Just sayin' it might happen.  It just might.

And you will need to be prepared if it does.  Because when if this happens you might inadvertently feel worse for having written your three pages then if you'd not written at all.  Here you are, diligently writing, yet you seem to be wandering far afield.  No plot appears.  Your characters are aimless, boring creatures.  Your words like dead and flat on the page.

What to do when this happens?

I don't know, really.  The truth is, nobody does.  Feeling lost and uncertain where you are going in a project is an occupational hazard.  Rare are the writing projects that write themselves.  Wonderful as they are, they can be a curse, too, because if that happens to you even once, you'll spend the rest of your life wishing and hoping that it will happen again.  It might.  But then again, it might not.

But even though I don't really have the answer, I've managed to muster some suggestions.  So here we go:

What To Do When You Don't Have a Clue What You're Writing

1. Cry.  I am sort of kidding about this, but sort of not.  Crying is very cathartic.

2.  Remember that the only way out is through.  You know what this means. Keep writing.

3.  Trust.  This is related to #2.  You must trust that the story will out, that the cream will rise to the crop, that the....you get the idea.

4.  Go back to the basics and plan.  Ask yourself questions about the characters, or interview them.  Put scenes on 3 by 5 cards and arrange and rearrange them.  Make a plot outline--work fast and just write down everything you know about what happens next.  Or write up some scene guides--noting all the physical details of the scene, who is in it, where it takes place, what will happen, what the scene needs to accomplish and so forth.

5. Take a break.  I know, I know, I'm forever harping about writing regularly.  But once in awhile you can let yourself off the hook and take a little break.  As long as it is the pause that refreshes and not the time you quit working on the novel or screenplay forever.

6.  And finally, for some fresh inspiration, download Chris Guillebeau's free ebook called, The Art of Nonconformity: A Brief Guide to World Domination.  I think you'll enjoy it and find it useful.

No, It's Not Your Imagination

Things are a bit wonky around the old Wordstrumpet homestead.

A couple months ago, the wonderful Jen at Typepad contacted me and asked if I would like a report on how I might update and enhance my blog.  I ignored her at first, because I thought that this would cost me money.  When she explained that it was free, I signed on immediately.

Then I got this lovely pdf with all kinds of recommendations as to how to improve my blog and sat on it for a few weeks, thinking that while all the advice sounded great, it would take forever to implement it.  The ever-patient Jen finally contacted me and informed me that she would do all the upgrades for free.

I'm not quite sure why I'm being blessed by Typepad like this, but I'm happy about it.  You may have noticed a few weeks ago that this site got spiffed up, with the side columns (we call them Typelists in Typepad land) rearranged in a far more logical order and the top banner looking a bit better.

Then, this morning (or maybe yesterday) it reverted to its former scraggly self.  That was due to a minor glitch having to do with domain mapping and being a beta tester and all kinds of other things that I do not understand and never will.

But here's the really cool part--in between the time I started this post and came back to finish it, Jen emailed me to say that everything was back to normal--the new spiffed-up normal.  So let me just say that I have loved Typepad since the minute I signed up with them and Jen and the other customer service folks have made me love them even more.

If you're signing up for a blog, you should consider them, because of several benefits:

• You own your own work (unlike some free blog hosts)
• It's incredibly flexible--you can use the software to create a website with ease
• They are constantly updating the service
• It makes you feel really cool and tech-savvy, even if you aren't

Click on the banner on the right column for more info, and maybe with luck you'll get Jen to help you, too.

Why I'm Not a Librarian

I've been reading more lately.  And thinking a lot about books lately.  This is not an entirely unusual state of affairs, because any writer worth their salt reads as much as they possibly can.  It is simply not possible to be a writer unless you read constantly.

But I've been even more engrossed in books lately, due to having started a companion site devoted to books.  Trust me, this is not a bad state of affairs.  Next to writing, reading is my most favorite activity.

However, all this reading and pondering the world of books and authors has also had me thinking about another question: since I love books so much, why do I feel so compelled to write them?  I mean, wouldn't my life be about 1,000 times less stressful if I was satisfied to limit my love for books to reading them?

This query is akin to the secretary question, which is, why couldn't I have been happy being a secretary?  (And please, I mean absolutely no disrespect to secretaries).  Why couldn't I have been satisfied having a stable, nine-to-five job?  Why do I feel compelled to make my living as a free-lance writer?

Good questions, all.  Too bad I don't have the answers.

Partial blame goes to my father, the late Lewis Jesse Rains, a lifelong small business owner who was fiercely independent until the day he died.  He drilled that independence into the heads of his four daughters, repeatedly telling us not to take the easy way out, that having one's own business was the only way to go.  Of course, he didn't really expect his daughters, as females, to create their own businesses, he expected our husbands to.    And he died broke, after his beloved printing business went bankrupt.

Guess that is what you would call a mixed message. 

Sometimes I think I should have paid more attention to the dark side of his example.  But the truth of the matter is that I've tried working for other people.  In recent history, I even held down a part-time job for something like two whole years.  But I'm not good at working for other people.  I resent having to be at work at a certain time.  It always happened that I'd just be gaining steam on a writing project when it was time for me to leave for work.  And after awhile that resentment built to where I'd get careless and sloppy on the job.

So it really is best that I work for myself.  And since the only thing I really know how to do well is write, I guess you're stuck with me. 

Though its probably not too late to go back to school to become a librarian.

New Claim to Fame

I am pleased to announce a new claim to fame: this site has been banned in Abu Dhabi.

My husband has just returned home from working in the UAE for the better part of the last two months.  Everything there is censored--TV shows, movies (which are shown with subtitles in Arabic), and websites.  So when Steve went to check in on what I'd been doing in his absence (it was all innocent, I promise), imagine his surprise when he was denied access.

I can't even begin to imagine what I've written that would scare the UAE censors, but I guess I'll consider it a badge of honor.

The Ghostwriter's Booksigning

I went to a book signing for a book I wrote the other night--only another person, a kind doctor, signed the books.  The cover of the book features his smiling face and this same image graces the posters that were propped all around the store.

But it would be impossible for you to find even the merest mention of my name anywhere near the book.  Why? Because I ghostwrote it.

Allow me to define ghostwriting for those of you who may still be confused about it (in my travels I find many who are).  A ghostwriter (moi) writes a book for someone else and that other person's name appears on the book.  If I'm very lucky, the "author" might thank me in the acknowledgments.  On some occasions, ghostwriters get a "with" byline.  As in "Stupid Worthless Memoir by Famous Vacuous Star with Ghostwriter."

But most of us ghostwriters get nada but a paycheck.  Which is why we do it, of course, because ghostwriting can be among the most lucrative of writing assignments.  You are writing a whole book, after all, not just an article or series of articles for a website.  You are expected to know how to take bunches of information, perhaps some interviews, and vague thoughts and organize them into a readable, informative book.

A great number of business and self-help books are ghostwritten.  Ditto with celebrity biographies and so-called novels.  (You really think Nicole Richie has ever read a novel, let alone written one?)  Rumor has it that some popular mystery series are actually ghostwritten and many readers believe that some of the most prolific romance writers employ ghostwriters to help them churn out the novels.

I can't verify those rumors, though I suspect they may be true.   I also suspect that many novelists have learned their craft churning out books under the name of a best-selling author.  But I think I prefer to stick to non-fiction.

To my way of thinking, non-fiction ghostwriting projects suit me just fine.  I enjoy learning about different subjects and getting into the mind of the person who I'm writing as.  

Last week was the first time I'd ever actually experienced a booksigning where the "author" of the book was signing what I wrote. 

I had a blast, met a lot of nice people and reconnected with the folks who hired me.  The thing is, I don't feel the emotional connection to the book that I would with, say, my novel.  And while I'm proud of the finished product, I'm not so invested in it that I can't let it go.

We'll be starting the next book in the series soon and I'm looking forward to attending future book signings.  I wish I could give the book some publicity and send you to the website, but alas, then it wouldn't be ghostwritten anymore, would it?  (And let me tell you, the whole ghostwriting thing wreaks havoc on the old resume, since I can't really blatantly list all the books I've written.)

Fun as this book signing was, I look forward to the day when I'll be signing my own novel at a book signing!

Call for Submissions for Christmas Anthology

My good friend and colleague, Linda Busby Parker, is starting a new press!  Her first publication is going to be a Christmas anthology and she is accepting both fiction and non-fiction submissions for it. 

Linda is the author of Seven Laurels, which is a wonderful book that you should read, and she's one of the best fiction teachers I know.  She's a mentor at the writing program I direct, and she also teaches at colleges in and around Mobile, Alabama.  All this by way of saying that I know she's going to put together a great anthology.  I'm in the process of adapting a chapter from my first novel to submit at this very moment.

The guidelines follow.  Email Linda if you have questions, or contact me and I'll forward comments to her.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

In search of well-written Christmas stories (fiction or non-fiction) for a new annual anthology, Christmas Is A Season: 2008. This anthology is being published by Excalibur Press and will be available early November, 2008. Short stories or works of non-fiction should have a Christmas theme and range between 700-5,000 (maximum) words in length. The deadline for submissions is September 20, 2008. The non-fiction pieces should take the form of a personal essay. Both fiction and non-fiction submissions should express some aspect of the spirit of Christmas: the meaning of Christmas; the religious significance of the season; the spirit of giving and receiving; peace; the meaning and importance of family at Christmas; Christmas charity; Christmas from a child’s point of view; the hustle-bustle of Christmas; the humor in the season; the sadness in the season; decorating for the holidays; the family feast; the Christmas blues; or any subject related to Christmas and what Christmas means or has meant to you. More than the narration of a single incident, each piece should tell a story, a complete narrative with an arc—building to a climactic moment and a falling away from that climactic moment in some form of resolution. The anthology will be paperback with a beautiful four-color cover.

What: Christmas stories (fiction or non-fiction) for a new anthology titled, Christmas Is A Season: 2008 to be released by Excalibur Press, early November 2008.

Word Limit: The stories and personal essays may range from 700 words to a maximum of 5,000 words. Longer pieces should be tightly edited and should offer considerable payback in terms of the quality and punch of the story or essay. (In longer pieces, every word should be essential!)

Deadline for Submissions: September 20, 2008.

Editor: Linda Busby Parker, Ph.D., MFA, author of Seven Laurels (a novel), winner of the James Jones First Novel Award and The Langum Prize for Historical Fiction.

Address for Submissions: (Submissions should be mailed via U.S. Post Office)
Excalibur Press
3090 Dauphin Square Connector
Mobile, Alabama 36607

Contact Information: excaliburpress@msn.com

In compensation for the short stories or essays published, each contributor will receive one copy of the anthology, Christmas Is A Season: 2008. Each contributor will also receive a price reduction for each copy purchased.